Survival of the Sickest - February 27, 2022

The Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota is popping as BWF Survival of the Sickest goes on the air. The crowd is hot as the action dips backstage before the first match of the night kicks off.


Kimmy Evans stands in front of the BWF Survival of the Sickest backdrop when Christine Myers steps into view.

Kimmy Evans: Hello, BWF fans. I’m joined right now with BWF newcomer Christine Myers and late addition to the card for Survival of the Sickest. Christine, what are your thoughts on signing a contract and being thrown immediately into a BWF pay-per-view?

Christine Myers: Isn’t it obvious? The whole reason I was put in the show so fast is because that Slayton guy knows that everyone wants to see me. I mean, didn’t you see? He was practically drooling all over Twitter about adding me to the card. I don’t buy for a second that he couldn’t add me if I hadn’t signed my contract yet, and if he thinks—

Kimmy Evans: Christine, that’s actually a thing. You can’t appear without—

Christine looks at Kimmy with a withering stare and pulls the microphone violently towards her. Kimmy stumbles a bit.

Christine Myers: Wait…did you just interrupt me? Don’t ever interrupt me. It’s rude, and I will not tolerate any rudeness from you or anyone else. Especially from a mic stand with a mouth. Have I been rude to you?

Kimmy Evans: No, you haven’t, I—

Christine Myers: Shut up. Now, ask your next question.

Kimmy Evans: Um, so your match tonight against BioCyde. He’s a pretty crafty veteran here—

Christine Myers: Who? Bio what? Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about but it’s clear I was put against that big oaf in my first match just to show how much more beautiful I am than the rest of the roster. It's an extreme comparison, but I guess it'll work. And then, after I beat him tonight, it’s going to put everyone on notice that nobody, nobody, can stand up to the Red Fury. Now do you have any more questions?

There is a moment’s hesitation before Kimmy speaks again.

Kimmy Evans: Just—

Christine Myers: No, you don’t. Back to work, mic stand.

Christine walks out of the frame. Kimmy watches her walk away, turns to the camera, and shrugs with a sigh.




Cutting backstage, Aislin is found getting into her zone. Her pre match ritual of snacking complimented by her munching on a Jaffa cake while letting a small vivparous lizard wander along her free hand. Blue woad in a small spiraling tree like patterns on her face. Some may find her rituals odd; but for the fairy woman, this was the most normal thing. Aislin raises the lizard to have it wander on her shoulder.

Aislin Finn: In case you have not noticed yet, I am not a stranger to fighting.That street fight more than proved it. As for the current United States Champion. She already knows she will be pressed. We have a past, sure. This is no time to expand upon that. This is about the here and the now…and how we two might have or have not changed.

Aislin Finn: The biggest change is the most obvious. She has always been vocal when she is denied what she wants. But now she has it. Two championships in two companies. Her name in sparkling lights on the Marquee. She is riding a pink cloud. Everything is just going her way innit?

Aislin Finn: Then there is me. A person trying to reestablish herself after taking nearly a year off. Like Icarus I pushed those wax wings to their limit. All to fill so many shoes. Being from a long time wrestling family. Being a leader of a rag tag group trotting the globe. Then my own, and the ambitions, the hurdles I set before myself. To put it simple. I'm still a growin lass and I'm still hungry. I was a hound, a ravenous primal being, a headless wanderer. The hunger bound that trinity. The hunger fused that trinity. A wisened sidhe that has bitten into many things. But biting into gold again sounds rather tempting.

Aislin Finn: As for Minka, I'd be wary if I you. Triumph is often followed by hubris. And a dream may be more real than perceived.

Aislin reaches up to pet the lizard at the fade out.



The show cuts backstage to BWF United States Champion Minka Carter as she has her championship with her. She’s not in the greatest mods of all and even despite that, she’s still expressing confidence on her face. She’s got some stuff on her mind and in this instance, she’s not wasting any time expressing her thoughts whatsoever.

Minka Carter: The last time you saw me in a BWF ring, I was defending the championship against a fluke in Joanna who I ultimately proved in the end that she didn’t deserve to be in the same ring as me. I retained my United States Championship and as you ALL know I’ve been a busy bee while I’ve been waiting for the call to defend this championship in this company. When I first won this title, I already held another one in another company. Sadly, I wasn’t Two Belt Minks for long… but while I was waiting to come back here… I became so again and with a WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP at that. Now, I’m not here to talk too much about things at other companies, but I do want to raise it as a point. When I first came to this company, I talked about how it was my destiny to be a world champion here. By winning this United States Championship, I PROVED THAT AS FACT. I showed that I can be a champion HERE even if it wasn’t THE big one. By going out and winning a world championship in 5BW, I PROVED THAT I CAN BE A WORLD CHAMPION… even though it’s not here… at least… not yet…

Minka Carter: You see, I AM destined for big things in this business and I’m only just getting started and Aislin Finn… Ash Fi… whatever the fuck you go by these days… you’re not going to walk in and take this from me. Yeah, we’ve had battles in other companies before when we were at different stages of our careers, but that was a different company in another time and i’m not focusing on that crap anymore. I’ve moved on from all of that… and I’m not so sure you’ve done the same. I mean, between us girls, the only reason why I even gave a token mention of our history elsewhere, however small it is, is because you’ve had a knack for bringing it up.

Minka Carter: I’m not the one stuck in the past and if you want to hang onto that to motivate yourself, be my guest but it’s like I’ve been saying on Twitter: taking this United States Championship from me is just a DREAM for you! The Minka you’ve faced before is MUCH improved from what you remember. Hey, you want to bring up some past history between us, why don’t we bring up recent history that matters? Why don’t we bring up how when I won this championship in that five way ladder match, YOU were one of the four unfortunate souls that I had defeated that night. If I remember correctly, you even made a passing mention to that whole ‘demon’ thing going into that match. Yeah, there’s another example of you moving on from the past…

Minka pauses and scoffs, rolling her eyes at the sarcasm that she just expressed.

Minka Carter: Again, you want to hang onto stuff that doesn’t exist anymore or that isn’t relevant anymore, then by all means be my guest. You’re only anchoring yourself when you do that. I’m not going around screaming “DEMONS, DEMONS, DEMONS” anymore. I’ve evolved beyond that just like how you evolved using the name Ash Fi Fie Fo Fum… SORRY, that was WAY too good to pass up. Really, what the fuck were you thinking with a name like that? ANYWAY, not to be like you and harp on things that DON’T MATTER SO MUCH ANYMORE, but I think I’ve made my point clear. I’m in peak form, Aislin. You think you’re going to be able to slow me down when I am in peak form when you couldn’t even do that against me in that ladder match to begin with? Yeah, go ahead and harp about how that wasn’t one on one or whatever excuse you want to hide behind, but at the end of the day, what matters is TODAY! When I defeat you and retain this United States Championship, you’re going to run out of excuses! I mean, at least you’ll have something ELSE to remember me by and your bitterness toward me will be a bit more modern, current and relevant, right?

Minka shrugs and has a laugh to herself as she turns and exits the scene. She’s remaining highly confident as the scene cuts out.






The camera moves backstage, where Will Irwin is chatting with returning competitor Risa Saito-Jackson, who gets a pop from the crowd. The attention of both is diverted, however, when the Super Smash Sisters walk into the frame to boos.

Emily Corlen: Will, skedaddle. We have business with this one.

Will looks to Risa, who shrugs. Will eyes both Emily and Katie before exiting the scene, leaving Risa alone with the two women.

Katie Shelley: Hey, Risa. Long time no see. Welcome back!

Risa Saito-Jackson: Oh, thanks! I -

Katie holds her hand up, silencing Risa.

Katie Shelley: Don't care. Risa, Risa, Risa. Little Miss Super Tiger.

Risa Saito-Jackson: Oh, no, I don't call myself -

Katie's hand goes up again.

Emily Corlen: Stop interrupting.

Katie Shelley: Look, Risa. You and I? We go back a bit, yeah? We had our whole group thing planned for last year, then you bowed out for injury or whatever reason, and as a result, I got a hold of your vacated Money in the Bank briefcase and cashed in on Nessa to become the BWF World Champion. So, regardless of your reasons for leaving... as far as I'm concerned, we're good.

Risa smiles:

Risa Saito-Jackson: I'm glad you -

This time, Emily puts her hand up and glares.

Katie Shelley: Yeah, yeah. So, you were trained by FM Young, right? You know, we're facing her tonight in the main event, along with Johnny, Ollie and Helena. I haven't seen her around, so I was hoping maybe you could pass along a message for us?

Risa Saito-Jackson: Oh, um... sure?

Katie and Emily look at one another and nod silently before suddenly tearing into Risa with a bevy of kicks and punches. Emily grabs Risa and throws her into the wall, causing a loud THUD. More kicks and punches before backstage officials run up to intervene, pushing the Super Smash Sisters away from Risa. As they are removed from the area, Katie has one final thing to say;

Katie Shelley: Nothin' personal, darlin'. It's just business.

Katie and Emily grin as they hold their arms up and leave the area. Risa is being attended to by the backstage techs as the camera cuts back to ringside.



Johnny enters his locker room and is surprised to see that someone else is in there until he remembers he was sharing the room with his younger brother.

Johnny Maverick: Sup little bro, how ya been…oh.

Ollie turns around to reveal he has his manager Rocky with him….strapped to his chest in a ‘baby bjorn’ as if the raccoon was a small child.. Johnny blinks a few times before realizing this isn’t even in the top ten weirdest things he’s ever seen his brother do.

Ollie Linkoln: What’s up, Broseph? Brobocop? Bro-badon My-Brosevich?

Johnny Maverick: Not much man. Just getting changed and thought maybe we could discuss a little strategy.

Ollie Linkoln: Heck yeah, Rocky and I were just talking shop.

Johnny Maverick: Kind of insane we both just got divorced and now we have to fight our previous ex-wives.

Ollie Linkoln: That is kinda crazy now that you mention it.

Johnny Maverick: Let’s maybe never get married again.

Ollie Linkoln: I highly doubt I’ll ever meet another woman cool with me living with a live raccoon in a New York City apartment so that’s probably taken care of.

Ollie looks down at Rocky who looks up at him, slightly miffed.

Ollie Linkoln: No offense.

Ollie feeds him a Pringle to make sure he would not stay offended.

Johnny Maverick: So what does Rocky think?

Ollie looks down at Rocky and the two exchange a wordless discussion.

Ollie Linkoln: Rocky thinks that All-around we have a more varied setup of talent than our opponents do and we need to diversify that. Keep them surprised. Move from technical to striking to flying and keep switching it up with tags. Keep them guessing. Don’t try and fight outside of your strengths.

Johnny blinks.

Johnny Maverick: Uh….yeah. Sounds pretty solid, Rock. Rock solid.

Ollie Linkoln: So how are things going with you?

Johnny Maverick: Fighting through it. Training through it. You?

Ollie Linkoln: I loved my wife and I loved being a husband and a dad but Ami got primary custody and now I’m basically just trying to put up a front since I’m pretty sad all the time and really want to kick someone very hard.

Things get quiet for a little bit.

Johnny Maverick: Fuck. Okay. No. We can turn this around. Would it cheer you up if we did the thing?

Ollie instantly perks up.

Ollie Linkoln: The thing! We haven’t done the thing in like forever! Do you remember your bit?

Johnny Maverick: Well gee I don’t know, maybe I’ll have to go and look up what the Glorious Bastards are. I’m pretty sure it would say we are….pretty good? No. One of the best? Wait….no no….I think it would say that we are THE GREATEST-

Ollie Linkoln: MOST EXCITING-

Johnny Maverick: MOST DEVASTATINGLY HANDSOME-

Ollie Linkoln: TAG TEAM OF ALL TIME!

Johnny Maverick: Self-proclaimed.

Ollie Linkoln: But reality-enforced.

Johnny Maverick: Hide yo titles and hide yo wives.

Ollie Linkoln: The Maverick brothers have arrived.

Johnny Maverick: And it’s gonna be… Ffffffffffuckiiiiiiiiiiiing…

Both: …GLORIOUS!

Johnny and Ollie both hit a pose, Johnny with his arms outstretched and Ollie kneeling in front of him with some Ginyu Force-ass pose. Johnny and Ollie break the pose and high-five each other and Ollie looks at the BWF Championship on Johnny’s shoulder. After a bit, Johnny clears his throat.

Johnny Maverick: My eyes are up here, bro.

Ollie Linkoln: Sorry just…thinkin. Oh, not about you though! Just ya know….someday.

Johnny Maverick: You sticking around here in BWF then?

Ollie Linkoln: I think… yeah. I think I might be.

Johnny Maverick: Glad to have both of you around then. Now I’ma get changed and then let’s go beat our ex-wives.

Ollie Linkoln: There’s gotta be a better way to say that but yeah! Let’s do that. See you out there!

Ollie leaves with Rocky to let Johnny get changed before the camera fades out.






Liam Stewart: And that will do it for a phenomenal Survival of the Sickest pay-per-view!

Riley Rouse: We have a new United States Champion... absolute bedlam in the main event... and we're only just getting started!

Liam Stewart: You know that's right! Folks, for Riley Rouse, I'm Liam Stewart... good night from Minneapolis! We'll see you next Sunday night on Shockwave!

We see one final shot of the winning team celebrating victory in the ring before the show fades to the BWF logo, and finally to black.